Trying to imagine a relationship with out ‘games’ is like trying to make a world without climate. It is just not possible. When individuals say that they “don’t would like games” what they really imply is that they don’t want ill games, or stupid games. In one perspective it could be asserted the whole of every day life is a game, so it is not difficult to accept that what goes on in relationships are ‘games’ of 1 sort or another. Consequently, there is nothing derogatory about the phrase ‘game’, games are only a problem when they’re negative in some way.
Games tend to be negative when they are carried out purely for effect without being willing to engage with the consequences. If I pretend to like someone that I know I really don’t really like as a way of getting something from them (attention, sex, free drinks) then that is a sick game – particularly if I know the other person likes me. It would mean that I was leading them on and playing with their feelings, knowing full well that I was going to hurt or disappoint them at the first opportunity to get what I want from elsewhere.
If I am playful with someone that I like (or that there seems to be a fair chance that I will like them) by flirting a bit, or paying the compliments in roundabout ways that can be a fun and very healthy game for both parties. It can be a way of letting someone know that I have good feeling for them without having to just blurt it out.
Why not just tell them you like them?
Sometimes it is best just to tell the person that you like them. But, how often is that really the best thing to do? It can really put the person on the spot if we do that. We have all had experiences of thinking that someone who we had just met was going to become a real friend, or a partner, only to find that as we got to know them the person turned out to be very different from what we expected. We all learn to have defences of one kind or another. Games are a way of playfully letting down a little bit of our defences in a way that gives us a way out, without too much embarrassment on either side, if it all goes pear shaped. If I have really got a liking for you early in a relationship and came right out and said it you might feel obliged to return the compliment, but feel awkward that you do not feel ready to do so. You could have number of other different adverse reactions; you might feel embarrassed, you might wonder what I was after, you might have been thinking “Gee, how can I get away from this person.” and then feel guilty when I was nice to you.
Of course, you might have a positive response too. A well-delivered compliment can really help a relationship. However, I would need to make sure that I respected your process and the time you need to make up your mind about another person. Rather than make the compliment too direct it might be best to play it safe in and compliment you in roundabout ways in the beginning. I can compliment your dress sense, or you hairstyle, for example. Or, I can make indirect complements like “Anyone as fit looking as you would…” or “I can see you keep yourself in shape. Do you work out a lot…”. Really I am saying that I like you, and you will know that, yet somehow it is safe and non-threatening. That is the essence of a healthy game. Discover more dating sites.